I've been a single parent so long, that I think I've lost my own identity...I'm no longer me, I'm just Mom. I'm reaching a point in my life (44 years old in March) that I'm ready to still be Mom (I love being a mother to my kids), but also wake up me and who I am.
I've been dormant for so long, I'm not even sure what I like to do outside of my kids. I find that to be somewhat sad and scary. The great thing is...I have 2 wonderful, beautiful and smart daughters, and we have a great relationship. I love every minute with them and watching them grow into beautiful young women, but they are teenagers and they are starting to not need me as much anymore. I know they love me very much and we have a great relationship, but I'm noticing that is not enough anymore. I'm seeing the future, where my kids go off to college and begin to build their own lives, and I look around and ask, "what do I do now?" That is what has set me off on this exploration to find out who I am. I'm noticing that I feel like I need more things just for me. Thinking about all this made me realize that I met my ex-husband when I was 23 years old, and divorced when I was 33 years old and have been raising my kids the last 10 years. Wow!! where has the time gone? I haven't been on a date in 20 years, crazy, huh?
It has been a little weird trying to figure out who I am, and opening up things that I've buried for so long...sometimes I feel like a stranger to myself.
Well, now that I'm having all this internal exploration, I am now starting my journey to find out more about me, what I like, what I don't like. We'll see where it takes me.
Look, I've created my first blog...whoo hoo!!!! I'm on my way!!!
Wish me luck!! If you have any advice don't hesitate to comment. Look forward to hearing from you.
Reading your blog reminds me of how far I have drifted from taking care of my own self. I use to practice yoga regularly, ate super healthy, and took time out to be by myself or to join an evening with friends. It's difficult to find the time to continue with that lifestyle when you're a full-time single mom. It seems like there's always something or someone demanding my time and attention. Reading how you're taking that next leap to finding out who you are, gives me hope that I might be able to do the same for myself. Thank you for having the courage to share your personal experiences with so many.
ReplyDelete